Diary Lies

Dear Diary

Singapore was our city, B and I. But he won't be returning to this city, so won't I.

I called him my toy boy. Being a few years older than him it was something very glamorous about it. And he was a pretty boy.

The rules were explained very clearly right in the beginning. We were both attached so the only reason for us to be together was for the good sex. Fuck buddies.

The arrangement was great for us for a while until one day. That day, we went out. Instead of staying in bed in the hotel suite as we normally did, we went out for an afternoon walk. Somehow it became a date.

Fuck buddies don’t date. They just simply cannot and should not. It’s a rule that should be engraved on any condom cover. But we violated the rule. We held hands we fed each other ice cream we chose outfit for each other… We talked.

So that was it. We had to end it, before falling for each other.

Why was I so afraid of love?