Diary Lies

I’ve been thinking about what J said. He said “This is it. The last of me.” And these words just get repeated in my mind all the time.

I am learning how to grieve. This is the grieving process. I need to learn to let go. I need to accept that once a person leaves my life that’s it. Like death. This person no longer exists.

But of course he does. He is just one phone call away.

We are living in the same city. I walk on the streets that we once walked together. And this city can be so huge it can be so small. Huge enough that if we pay attention we won’t bump into each other ever again. Small enough that if one of us chooses to see each other we can easily pick the time and date and place to intentionally come across each other.

I thought about how two worlds could just collide, and then drift apart.

How a person was the universe of the other person’s and the next minute it’s all gone. Life goes on.

Suddenly it reminded me a song. “The End of the World” is says:

Why does the sun go on shining
Why does the sea rush to shore
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing
Why do the stars glow above
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

Was it, the End of the World for him?