Diary Lies

Dear Diary

All the excitements and pleasure have subsided. It all started when J said to me with a convincing voice: “I love you.”

So was it a game for me? Was the reason that I had lasted in this relationship with him for this long just because I wanted to win the game?

Was I hypochondriac when I felt that excruciating pain when he tried to leave me?

Have I really loved him? Have I ever loved him?

Have I ever, really loved?

I am confused.